Layers of Nonsense
by Fleur the First
Summary: Severus Snape has nothing in common with Auriga Sinistra...except, perhaps, for their mutual disdain for each other. However, when they are forced together over a summer of mayhem...anything can happen.
1. Thus Bad Begins

Layers of Nonsense

Chapter 1:

Thus Bad Begins

***

**Author's Ramblings**: After I read OotP, I only loved Snape more. Either that, or it was Alan Rickman in _Sense and Sensibility_, but either way, I have found obsession in the man. 

This story is the product of a wonderful ship that I discovered in authors such as She's a Star and drama-princess, thank you, ladies.

I ask all of you to leave me comments on how you felt about this, as it's a story I'm somewhat unsure of. It's fun to write, however, so I do believe it will all turn out fine and dandy in the end. For you and me, at least. I'm not sure about poor old Sev.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't have millions of dollars. I don't know if Auriga is really Sinistra's first name, but it it's good enough for those who came before me in this ship, it's good enough for me.

***

Summer. To Severus Snape the word brought relief and happiness. Well, the closest thing to happiness he'd ever been privy to feeling. A more apt description would place him as slightly less annoyed than he was only weeks before. Of course, weeks before there had been students in the halls of Hogwarts, weeks before there had been Harry bloody Potter. 

Not that Snape carried resentment or anything.

Now, however, the halls were quiet, devoid of giggles and whispers that usually accompanied teenagers. Snape sneered at the mere thought of the hormonal creatures he was forced to associate with so often.

Maybe now, finally, he could enjoy a bit of peace, something his life was sorely lacking. Snape winced as he thought of the black mark burned into his forearm, when would he ever truly be at peace?

But at least it was quiet. And while quiet didn't always equal peace, it certainly was an improvement. In his next life, Snape decided, he would teach in a school with no students.

Snape entered the Great Hall later than he normally would this summer day. He had spent all morning organizing his office, and hadn't seen fit to eat a proper breakfast. Though it was now eleven o'clock, he expected the house elves would manage to scrounge something up for him. 

What he did not expect, however, was entering the large chamber and catching sight of Auriga Sinistra slumped over in her chair at the head table. She was the only one in the room, and Snape didn't even think he would have noticed her if it hadn't been for her large, brown, frizzy hair. 

After all, it's easy not to notice somebody when they're dead asleep.

Very quietly Snape walked over to the prone figure, a devilish smile forming across his features as he did so. He fought back the urge to chuckle as he leaned down and put his mouth beside her ear.

          "If you insist on sleeping at the breakfast table, you could at least take your arm out of the muffins."

          "AHHH!!!" With a shout of pure horror Professor Sinistra was up and out of her chair. She looked around wildly for a moment, pinched herself, then took on a look of even more repulsion. 

          "Good morning, Auriga, I do hope you've slept well." Snape sat down at his chair calmly.

          "Dear Merlin, Severus, I thought I was having a nightmare."

Snape took a muffin and spread some butter on it. "You were sleeping rather soundly for somebody having a nightmare."

Sinistra waved away his comment. "No, no, after I woke up."

          "It is good to see the high regard you hold me in." 

The astronomy professor blushed a bit, but remained otherwise unrepentant. "That was very cruel of you, Severus, I'll have you know my sleeping schedule has been thrown off drastically ever since I stopped having to teach classes."

Under his breath Snape muttered something that sounded like a very high-pitched, "That was very cruel of you, Severus."

          "Fine, then, be that way!" With a flourish Sinistra whipped around and exited the Great Hall, leaving Snape to his muffin.

As he ate, Snape thought back on his history with Auriga. There actually wasn't much of one, to say the truth. They'd both gone to Hogwarts at the same time, but she'd been younger than him, and a Ravenclaw to boot. They had both been teaching at Hogwarts for at least a decade, but only ever said to each other things like, "Pass the marmalade," or, "Good evening." 

However, there _had_ been that time three years ago when he'd commented—and by commented, he meant insulted terribly—on her hair and she'd thrown her coffee mug at him. She had professed slippery fingers but to this day Snape believed the mug had had a bit of a wind-up as it sailed through the air.

He shuddered at the memory. 

***

Back in her tower, Auriga Sinistra was positively fuming. There were only two things in this world that could cause such anger in her: her hair, and one Severus Snape.

Auriga was a person who always tried to be just and fair. She lived for the night and the stars, basking in their beauty. Snape was her antithesis. Indeed, she didn't think he'd ever heard of the word fair, and she'd once overhead him telling Professor Flitwick he thought it was useless to teach astronomy at Hogwarts. His motive for saying such a thing was heretofore undetected, but Auriga had never quite gotten over it. It didn't help matters that he seemed to be somewhat evil. 

***

Snape stared at the wall of his office. It was very clean. And boring…

He turned his eyes to his bookshelves. They too were very clean, but not in the least bit boring; Rows of Shakespeare littered them, taking up even more space then his most prized books on potion making. Even more unusual about his collection was the fact that he had two copies of every play and sonnet. As it was, William Shakespeare had been a famous wizard who delighted in mischief and mayhem. He'd made himself famous in the Muggle world for the solitary reason of leaving behind him centuries of conspiracy theories. 

But enough about that.

For years Snape had found solace in the bard's words, and he often found it calming to read and reread his works. The professor walked over to the bookshelf and picked up a copy of _Hamlet_. 

***

          "And then he mimicked me! Can you imagine, Severus Snape making fun of the things _I_ say? That greasy-haired git has never said an intelligent thing in his life. Ever."

Victoria Vector, the Arithmancy teacher at Hogwarts, nodded sagely. "Too true, Auriga, too true."

Okay, perhaps Victoria was biased. She was guaranteed to agree with Auriga, mostly because they'd been best friends for years.

Luckily, Auriga was not looking for an open and honest opinion, she was looking for one that would make Snape appear like the bastard he was. Humph. 

          "You know, we're both going to be seeing a lot more of Snape now that the ministry has admitted You-Know-Who's back."

The brown-haired woman raised an eyebrow. "How do you figure?"

Victoria curled a piece of her blond hair around her figure, making her look like a contemplative Barbie. It was a habit she'd never been able to drop, even though her IQ was said to be well-over average. "Dumbledore is finally going to be able to confide in us, and you know perfectly well he's been working with most of the other teachers here. Thus, _we_ will be working with all of the other teachers here."

          "I still don't know why he wouldn't let us join the Order before," Auriga said.

Victoria frowned. "What, do you think he didn't find us trustworthy?"

          "No, no. I believe him when he says he did it for our own good, but don't you ever feel kind of left out of the loop? Like we're extras in a movie or barely-mentioned characters in a book?"

          "Don't be silly, Auriga!" Victoria laughed. "Honestly, I don't know where you come up with these things."

The other woman looked put out. "It was just a thought."

          "Dumbledore just didn't want to see us hurt. After all, we were too young to be involved in the first war, and he would have been risking a lot to tell us about his renegade group when he wasn't sure of our loyalties."

          "He should have known they'd be with him, of course!" Logic was something that Auriga could fail to see at times. Mostly when she chose not to.

          "Yes, well, we're in it now, so stop your whining."

Auriga gasped. "I do not whine!"

Victoria patted her friend on the shoulder. "That's right dear, and Professor Snape doesn't purposely keep his hair oily."

          "What?!" Auriga's scream echoed through the room.

          "Didn't you know," Victoria started conspiringly. "His hair is actually…curly."

          "No!" Professor Sinistra could not suppress an image of Severus Snape with curls hanging down the sides of his face. "You're making this up, Victoria! I've told you time and time again that you can't believe the gossip you hear—"

          "It's true!" the blond interrupted. "I was caught in the rain with him one year when one of the boats capsized in the lake—those poor first-years—anyway, we both got soaked. Soaked enough to make any potions he keeps in that hair of his get the use washed out of it. And as we walked inside, I could have sworn it had a bit of curl to it."

          "And you expect me to go on living without knowing if his hair is really curly or not? How could you tell me something like this without being absolutely sure?"

Victoria rolled her eyes. "Why do you care, it's just Snape. I thought it was interesting, yes, but not to the point where I'd actually try to find out."

          "Right," Auriga agreed. "I wouldn't either."

***

Days went by with no incident whatsoever. Snape followed his routine, Auriga hers. One day, however, Snape was nowhere to be found. Auriga, who was certainly not looking for him, noticed this as she casually checked most of the rooms in the castle for his whereabouts. 

It was time.

Ever so slowly she crept into the dungeons, feeling claustrophobic as she did so. Being an astronomer and all, Auriga felt very much at a loss with out the sky one quick glance away. _It figures the git would live in the one place I hate most_, she reflected as she stood outside his bedchamber door.

          "This is wrong. This is very, very, wrong." Auriga repeated the line to herself as she studied the doorknob. It crossed her mind that it was probably smothered with poison. She reached out to grab it, but then decided that woman's intuition was worth a listening to. 

The minutes passed as the sleuth—for lack of a better word—decided upon her best course of action. Finally, she lowered herself to the ground to peak in under the door. 

Snape's bedroom was dark, which did not surprise Auriga in the slightest. The floors, just like the walls (or at least what she could see of them) were covered in the same stone that was in most other parts of the castle. _He should have a carpet!_ Auriga thought. _His feet must be freezing in the morning_. A bed sat on the far side of the chamber, as well as other wooden pieces of furniture that were indistinguishable from the woman's viewing point. 

Eventually Auriga spotted another door, one that she was sure led to a bathroom. She couldn't stifle a slight, "A hah!"

          "Did you find something of interest, Professor?" a cold voice sneered at her.

          _Oh, Bugger._

          "Er…Severus, fancy meeting you down here." Auriga struggled to sit up as she brushed her hair out of her eyes and tried to fight the profuse blush that was starting to overtake her visage.

Snape crossed his arms. "Au contraire, my dear colleague. You see, this is _my_ room. I believe you too have one, in a tower. Now that I think about it, perhaps it is the altitude that makes you so odd." He paused to insert a sneer. "The question is what _you_ are doing here."

          "Right. Well, you see…" Auriga trailed off, unable to think up a good excuse for being on the floor of the dungeon. She racked her brain for a possible explanation.

          "I…I…" She trailed off.

          "Yes, Auriga, I realize that it is you who was lying on the ground." 

          "I slipped," the astronomy professor spat out, right before another part of her brain could start voicing the profanities that to this point had only been thought.

          "Ah…" Snape said. "I suppose that you are the type to slip often. Coordination doesn't suit you, does it?"

          "You oaf!" Auriga screeched. "If you say one more word about my lack of balance, my hair, or anything else, I'm going to hex you into next week!" She heaved a large breath of air as Snape eyed her calculatingly.

Finally, the man took a step closer to her. He was so close, in fact, that she could feel his breath on her face. "I don't think you would," he said simply. "I don't think you can."

But Snape wasn't done.

          "After all, what would a twit like you know about hexes?"

If Snape could have seen the future, perhaps he wouldn't have said that. For exactly half a moment later he was sprawled out on the floor, all of his limbs tangled up in each other. A second passed where he could only gape, but Auriga was too angry to soak in her victory. By this point she had completely forgotten that it was she who had been trying to break into his room, and couldn't think past the man she had at her feet.

The situation was really quite pervy, actually. Luckily, both were too occupied to notice.

When she was again capable of speech, the chestnut-haired woman gave Snape a look that expressed a hatred that would have made any other grown man cry. Snape only raised an eyebrow. This, of course, only fueled Auriga's fire. With one last glower she said, "I hate you, you self-centered, egotistical, evil bastard!" 

And then she was gone.

Maybe if Snape weren't in the shape of pretzel, and had had the luxury to reflection Hamlet rather than his current predicament, the line, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks," would have crossed his mind.

But it didn't.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

You like? You hate? Tell me in a review. You owe it to Shakespeare. 

Right.


	2. Dungeon Man

Layers of Nonsense

Chapter 2:

Dungeon Man

***

**Author's Ramblings**: I'm going to Boston for the weekend, so everybody waiting for chapter two of I Thee Wed should be expecting an update for early next week when I get back. I hope you enjoy _this_ until then.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Snape or Sinistra. If I did, well, let's just say Snape would look like Alan Rickman from _Sense and Sensibility_ all the time. Have I commented on that too much?

**Dedication:** To the cute guy at Starbucks who always knows what I want, even when I don't. It's freaky and flattering all at the same time.

***

Ever since Snape and Sinistra's last parting, the castle had felt the war they were waging with each other. Well, not so much felt, but saw and heard, because neither were actually very subtle about their feelings. 

The first morning after their argument in the corridor, they greeted each other like so:

          "Good morning, Severus, I do hope you slept badly."

          "Only because I had nightmares involving you, Auriga."

Snape-0; Sinistra-0.

On the second morning they only sneered at each other, something that Snape did much better than Auriga. Something he did much better than _anyone_.

Snape-1; Sinistra-0.

The third morning Auriga accidentally tripped Snape as they both entered the Great Hall, but threw off suspicion by attempting to help him up. "Clumsiness gets a hold of the best of us sometimes," she said in a saccharine voice.

Snape-1; Sinistra-1.

These sort of occurrences continued on for a good week, ending with Snape taking all the lenses out of the telescopes in the astronomy tower, and then claiming he'd only wanted to clean them. "To help out my _dear_ friend, Professor Sinistra," he'd insisted when McGonagall confronted him.

That was the last straw. By early evening they were both seated in Professor Dumbledore's office, being offered lemon drops as they sat in their chairs sulkily. 

Eventually, the headmaster moved past greetings and onto bigger and better topics of conversation.

          "So, Severus, how have you been finding the dungeon in the summer heat? Somewhat dank, I suppose?"

Snape only shrugged, casting his gaze out the window as he did so. Dumbledore only laughed.

          "And you, Auriga? It must be somewhat hot so high in your tower?"

Auriga smiled bashfully. "I suppose so, headmaster." In truth she found the tower no such thing, she'd cast cooling charms weeks ago. She suspected the headmaster knew this, but was getting at something neither she nor Severus would be happy about. After all, her intuition hadn't died with her ego that night she'd been discovered peeking into Snape's chambers.

          "Well, that is a dilemma!" Dumbledore continued. "Of course, it's not the only one." 

          "Is there anything we can do to help, Headmaster." Auriga did not see the nasty look Snape shot her when she uttered the word "we." 

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in a way they hadn't in a very long time. The past few weeks had been terrible ones for the aged wizard, not even the blindest of men could have said otherwise. For this reason, the expression he wore now made Auriga's heart soar, and she promised she'd do anything he asked of her.

          "I want," the aged wizard began, "for you and Severus to go on a mission for me."

Both stared at him in complete incredulity. 

"Together," Dumbledore added.

Auriga swiftly reexamined the definition of the word anything, then went back to her silent stupor. Finally, Severus managed a humorless chuckle. It sent chills up Auriga's back and she studied him through a curtain of her hair.

He didn't look happy. Indeed, he looked downright homicidal. Auriga edged her chair away from the potions master very slowly, hoping nobody would notice the scraping of her chair on the floor. 

          "Professor," Snape said, his voice practically a growl, "you cannot expect to let such a person jeopardize the lives of countless innocents because of inexperience and sheer ignorance."

Though Auriga had been silent until this point, she jumped to her feet when Snape was finished. Nobody she had ever met managed to make her feel as terrible about herself as Snape did, and she wasn't above showing him her "experience" the old-fashioned way. She reached for her wand. However, Dumbledore shook his head at her, and waved her back down to her seat. Once settled she began to fix Snape with a look of the utmost loathing. 

          "Severus," Dumbledore's words were no longer light. "I have faith in Auriga, and you should as well."

Snape showed the barest trace of a nod, at which Auriga snorted. Snape raised an eyebrow at her, and Dumbledore ignored the sound all together.

          "This summer I will be closing down the castle to all but myself and a select group of Aurors, all of whom will be working with me to put up extra wards and precautions. The evil that threatens us cannot be expected to stay clear of our school, and I want to be prepared if need be.

          "Every professor will be asked to find other means of occupation during the holidays, but each will not be left to wander aimlessly. You two shall be going to a provincial town in France, located directly on the sea. There, a small monastery is located."

Snape, who seemed unable to withhold comment one moment longer, said, "Sorry, Professor, but I'm not exactly devout, nor do I enjoy the sea."

Dumbledore smiled at Snape's comment, taking no offense whatsoever. Snape got the notion that the headmaster found his ire amusing, and his scowl deepened to a level that was not only near impossible, but totally deserving of the myth that it could freeze that way. "It is not, Severus, just any religious building. In it, you will find scrolls of great importance to me, scrolls that contain some of the most powerful spells ever to have been created. They exist only to protect innocence and purity, and have been safeguarded for years. It is time, however, to bring them back to Hogwarts. The students here need them." 

Snape had his head in his hands now, and Auriga's mouth was hanging open.

          "Merlin, Dumbledore, next you'll be asking us to bring back the Holy Grail!" 

          "Nothing so difficult, Severus." 

Auriga swallowed a lump in her throat that she'd had since Dumbledore began telling his tale. "Professor," she squeaked, "why do you need _me_ to go?"

          "Indeed," Snape muttered not-so-under his breath.

          "Because, Auriga, I need you to transport the scrolls, for they can only be touched by one who had never killed." 

Auriga eyed Snape warily. "If what you're saying is that Dungeon Man can't do this himself, I'm left to draw only one logical conclusion." 

Snape rolled his eyes. "When have I ever given off the impression that I'm innocent and pure, you twit. And don't call me Dungeon Man!" 

          "That doesn't mean you'd have to have killed…Dungeon Man," she shot back.

Dumbledore gazed at Snape thoughtfully. "You two have much to talk about," he said. "I cannot force either of you to be as open as I would like, but I do hope that in time you will become closer than you are now."

The two stood to leave, but not before Dumbledore muttered, "Which wouldn't really be accomplishing much, would it?" 

***

As Snape and Sinistra walked down the hall, neither made any form of contact with the other. When they reached the Great Hall, Auriga hesitated, staying firmly rooted to where she had stopped.

          "Right foot, left foot," Snape sneered, "it's not that hard!"

Auriga made a face at him that she hadn't used since she was eleven. "Thank you for your concern." She moved her arms to her hips. "I think we need to talk."

          "Ah," Snape said. He remained silent for a moment, then told her, "I think not."

          "I'm not asking you for your favorite type of pastry. This is just a tad bit important. You don't think you owe it to me to tell me who you _killed_?!" 

Snape moved a hand over her mouth in one swift moment. When he removed it, Auriga was staring at it strangely. "You smell like the herbs my mother used to grow in her garden."

Snape rolled his eyes. "First you shout out to the whole world that I've…you know, and now you're going all nostalgic about your childhood." 

Auriga reddened a bit. "Shut it." 

          "Gladly."

With that Snape turned in the direction opposite the Great Hall and began heading for the dungeons. Auriga huffed and ran after him.

          "Wait, Dungeon Man!" Oddly enough, Snape did nothing of the sort. "Oh, bother." Auriga muttered, before trying a different approach. "Severus! Severus, _please_ wait!" This time Snape slowed down a little. Auriga broke into a full out run this time, catching her prey on the arm.

          "If Dumbledore trusts you, I trust you." She looked him straight in the eye, and for a brief moment Snape couldn't help but notice their intelligence. Quickly he shoved the thought aside. Surely Sinistra had never had an intelligent thought in her life.

          "Your trust is ill-placed, I'm sure. You have no reason to have faith in me, and I suggest you take your pity elsewhere," he said. Auriga found herself pained by his words, and she wondered if she'd ever go numb to him. But then again, Severus Snape wasn't exactly the type of man one could block. 

          "Now that you mention it, Dungeon Man," Auriga spat, "I _do_ pity you! You walk around like some sort of vampire, dead to everything and everybody but yourself!"

Instead of getting angry, Snape smiled at her. It was much like his chuckle, though: not in the least bit friendly. "Good day, Professor."

And then he was gone.

***

          "I can't believe him!" Auriga was once again talking out loud to her tower room, something she seemed to do very often when school was not in session. "That overgrown bat thinks he's so smart, but I'll show him. By the time this mission is over, I'll have him read like a book!"

          "That's nice, dear," her mirror replied from the opposite end of the room. It said things like that often.

          "Don't patronize me, Mimi!"

          "Of course not, dear," Mimi replied. Auriga seriously considered throwing something at the piece of glass, but managed to calm herself before reaching for her paperweight. 

***

The moment Snape reached his dungeon he threw himself at a wooden cupboard that held thousands of essays he'd assigned to students who had misbehaved in his class. He never read them, however, only checked them over to make sure the writer hadn't skived off and handed in a dud.

He picked up one that had the name "Harry Potter" scrawled across it. A malicious gleam entered his eyes as he sat down and began to read. 

After an hour or so the entire paper was covered in red marks, marks that eerily resembled blood. It even had tiny rivulets of the stuff and blotches where Snape had held the quill just an incy-wincy bit too hard. So hard, in fact, that eventually the quill broke and he had to replace it with another. It was just ink, actually, but Snape was a master at mind games and liked to use this particular shade of red on those students he loathed with all the fire of a thousand suns. Not so surprisingly enough, Harry Potter was one of them. He even had his own special shelf, which was labeled "Satan Spawn" in very large letters for easy access.

Snape then proceeded to make his way to the owlery, which he reached in an alarmingly short amount of time. Once there he sent the paper to its rightful owner, adding onto it a note that expressed in no uncertain terms that said owner had all the brain cells of an amoeba. The owl that he chose studied the professor with great unease throughout the entire process, and even squawked when Snape threatened to break his leg off through his none-to-gentle attachment of the parchment.

Snape felt much better.


End file.
